Stray Celluloid
<Dear guests, the event in the dining hall will begin shortly…>
It’s finally time for the performance… I wonder if they can pull this off. I’m so nervous~!
(I have to admit, the Evening Team isn’t exactly the most cooperative… but I’m just glad everyone managed to show up…)
Ugh… I wanna get out of here. My stomach’s starting to hurt…
Tao-kun, are you okay…?
Don’t worry, Chiefy. I’ll keep an eye out for Taotao ♪
C’mon, Taotao, relaaax~! Deep breath iiin!
Raito-san, Kuguri-san. Are you two holding up okay? Are you feeling nervous at all?
Yeah ♪ I’m looking forward to our first performance.
Nervous? Just who do you think you’re talking to, cica?
(I was worried about how the performance is gonna turn out, but those two are acting as they normally would. As for Kinari-kun…)
(It’s a little awkward… I didn’t expect him to be charged with murder…)
(How should I even approach something like this? I’m hopeless. I braced myself to accept any crime, but…)
……
Your dancing still isn’t in sync. For the time being, just focus on getting comfortable with being on stage.
Nayuuki, don’t be dropping negative stuff like that right before we perform! That’s a major no-go for a manager!
<Alright, come on out! Visiting us from HAMA, please welcome the local idol group, Ev3ns!>
Applause.
(Good luck, everyone…!)
Good evening, everyone. I’m Ev3ns’s leader, Kitakata Raito. We’re here to showcase our debut performance tonight.
I’m Natsuyaki Chihiro, Ev3ns’s Smiley Cutie ♪ Hope you enjoy our song and have a blast tonight~!
Huuuh? Who the hell’re you? Idols my ass!
This here’s a dining hall, so skip th’ singin’ and do some tricks!
Hahaha! Yeaaaah, that’s right! Show us what you can do!
Tsk. The guests are so rude… Just ignore them and start the musi—
Hmm… As idols, shouldn’t we do what our audience asks of us?
(That idiot!)
A trick, huh… Could I just do the one I did on TV? Hey, mister, I’m just gonna snag your spoon for a sec ♪
Hm? Whazzat?
Hup, hup, hup! I call this one “Five Spoons, Two Hands”~!
Woooaaah! That’s so cool, lil bro!
Applause.
(Hrrrgh…! Chii…! I’d expect nothing less of him…! He takes everything on with a smile! Ev3ns’s Smiley Cutie really is the epitome of a true idol!)
(…? Huh? Is… the chief warden trying to blend in with the crowd again…?)
Are the rest of ya just gonna keep standin’ around?!
Taotao, think you could do that card trick…? I’m pretty sure it’ll be a hit with these guys… but will it be too tough on you?
…!
No… I did promise I’d show it to you. Um, could I borrow a deck of cards?
I’m Kinouchi Tao, and I’m going to show you a magic trick!
Not bad! I’ve gotta deck for ya to borrow. Here!
In that case, I suppose I could show you a magic trick of my own ♪
(So Kuguri-san’s doing a magic trick too…)
Pick a card, please. Then, put it back in the deck…
I haven’t touched your card at all. Now, I’m going to try to guess your card.
It’s the King of Diamonds!
Woooaaah! He got it right!
Taotao, that was awesome!
Ahaha…
(It’s got some crazy trick to it, but at least I can still do it somehow…)
Hmm… Should I show you a bit of card juggling?
Come on, open those clouded eyes of yours nice and wide. Can you drunk lot tell which cards are real and which are fake?
Wh?! The hell’s going on?! The cards are movin’ all on their own!
That’s a crazy trick, bro!
Ufufu. I’m glad you drunks enjoyed it.
(Huh?! That was no magic trick! There wasn’t any “trick” to it…! How were the cards moving like that…!?)
This has totally turned into a magic show… I wonder when they’ll actually get to perform the song…
Hm… I won’t lose. I’ll just… strip!
R-Raito-san?!
Are you out of your fucking mind?! What kind of idol decides to strip out of nowhere?!
WHAM!
…Woah! That was a sharp kick, Nayuki! Just what I needed. Let’s have a sparring match…!
Applause.
Woooaaah?! Now they’re fightin’?!
Hell yeah! Fight, fight, fight!
If it’s come down to this, then I’ll take you down right here…!
WHAM!
You’ve gotten good, Nayuki!
I had a fantastic teacher…!
WHAM! BAM!
(Huuuuh…? The Kitakata brothers started fighting… This has spiraled way out of control, Nayuki-kuuun…!)
…I should also perform something.
…! Kinari-kun, you don’t really have t—
As a magic trick… I, Azekawa Kinari… will remove my arm.
Click!
Plüss. As I thought, you’re—
GyaaaaAAAAH?!
Did this turn into some kinda slasher film or somethin’?!
Huh?! Your arm came off!? Are you okay?!
(This is bad! I have to end this!)
Everyone, that was Ev3ns’s party trick segment! Thank you very much for comiiiing! Party’s over! Go home!
This food is crazy good~♪
We might not be getting paid, but at least we’re lucky enough to be getting a good meal…
Acquiring taste bud response data… Ingredients, flavor, saltiness…
Kinyariii, what’re you yapping about~? Here, let Chii feed you a bite. Say ahhhh~♪
…? Ahhh?
There. It’s a Beppu must-have~ Pretty good, right?
Mm… (Chew chew)…
You look so cute eating with your lil chipmunk cheeeeks! Could I snap a pic? I wanna set it as my wallpaper!
Mmf mmrmf… (If Master permits it).
You’re the one that stuffed his mouth full, Chihiro…
Seki horse mackerel and Seki mackerel are both popular specialties in Oita, which I’m rather grateful for. The toriten1 is delicious as well.
(Sigh)… What a disaster. I can’t believe that’s how their debut turned out…
I played a part in some of that myself. Chief, I’m sorry. I’ll take full responsibility for this…
That was beyond our control… It wasn’t only your fault, Nayuki-kun.
But it was still a valuable chance for them to be on stage… I’m really sorry.
It’s all in the past now, Nayuki. There’s no need to stay stressed about it. It actually turned out to be quite fun.
……
(You’ll find anything fun.)
Oh BTW, Kinyari, are you okay? Is your arm back to normal? What was the deal with that?
…I didn’t think he’d be found out so quickly.
I’ll explain since it’s not really possible to keep it a secret any longer, but keep this a confidential secret between all of us.
Huh…? Is this about Kinari-kun?
……
This is Azekawa-kun’s instruction manual that the president provided before our trip.
Kinari-kun is… an android…? Wait, but wasn’t he in a human prison?
The fact that Azekawa-kun is an android is top-secret information set by the government to begin with. So, please be careful not to mention this to anyone.
Top secret…?! And what do you mean Kinyari’s a robot?
Azekawa-kun is an illegal android that isn’t registered with the government.
According to the law, androids need to have serial numbers that are monitored. Shouldn’t his serial number be easily identifiable from his appearance and design?
Azekawa-kun is an entirely original model based on the developer’s son, who died young. Not only that, the developer has also since passed away…
…!
(Wait. Is that why he looks so much like him…?!)
Died young… So that means he’s dead…
In other words, he’s the only stray android in the world?! Fascinating…!
(Huffs)… Since he’s an android, we need to make sure to keep an eye on his charging. I was overseeing it, but since you know now, I’d like you to manage it from here on out.
I will ♪ This is great, Kinari.
Approval from the master is required.
(So that’s how it is. The Master registration must’ve happened accidentally at the airport… and that’s why he suddenly started listening to me since then…)
I understand the vibe I was getting from you now, plüss.
I feel sympathy towards your arms…
Oh, Nayuki-kun. Wait…
Yesterday, Kinari-kun told me about his arrest. About how he… killed someone.
……
Is… that true?
…Yes. Azekawa-kun killed his developer.
…!
To clarify, his developer was dying from an illness, and he turned off his life support.
I don’t… think that’s the same as murder, though…
In all honesty, that’s something people might have different opinions on. Regardless, it doesn’t change the fact that he is the first android in the world to have intentionally caused someone’s death.
Should this information become public, it might spark a movement against androids. Which is why the government is keeping it a secret.
Since he’s an unregistered android, doesn’t that… run the risk of him being confiscated?
Frankly, I think the higher-ups are trying to stay out of this. If they handle it wrong, it might cause problems. Seems like they’re pretending not to know about it for now. That’s just my speculation, though.
He considers you his Master, which might be the only good thing in all this.
I’m sorry, Chief, but I’ll leave looking after Azekawa-kun to you.
……
(An android who killed his developer, who was like a father to him… Why would Kinari-kun… do something like that…?)
Translation Notes
Footnotes
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Tempura style chicken thats incredibly famous in oita prefecture. ↩