BUBBLE GUM DANCE - Epilogue (2)

Hm…?

Oh… there’s a poster from our performance yesterday.

When did that get there? I could’ve sworn it was a poster of a different unit just a few days ago.

……

(The Kojika Juis of MELLOW DEAR US on this rectangular sheet of paper is as perfect as ever.)

(A carefully calculated pose, an expression that keeps the viewer hooked, every move…)

(The moment he steps onstage, his body moves on its own. He can even say “I love you” clearly without thinking twice about it.)

(⁠—No matter how you look at it, he’s the perfect “idol”)

(But what purpose does being “perfect” even serve…?)

(To stop growing and remain at one place forever… that’d be nothing but torture.)

(Back then, things were better. I had a light to guide my way.)

(But that light is gone now.)

(The more I play the role of a perfect idol, the faster I can feel my heart growing numb.)

……

(I think I’m starting to understand how Madoka felt…) ¹

(A perfect world is unbearably boring.)

…san? Juis-san! Welcome back!

……!

Oh, sorry. I was just lost in thought. Did you need something?

That poster looks great, doesn’t it? I made sure to put it where it would stand out the most! It’s not like I had any important business with you or anything, but…

MELLOW DEAR US’s live performance yesterday was amazing!

…You think so? Thank you. Knowing you enjoyed it really makes me happy as an idol.

I think MELLOW DEAR US is really going to take off⁠—or… I mean, keep growing here in Japan from here on out!

I was totally sure of it after yesterday’s performance! So I really just wanted you to know.

……

Yesterday really solidified me as a MELLOW DEAR US stan, so I’ll keep supporting you guys with my whole life!

I mean… cheering you on is about all I can do, but… I’ll do my best to keep supporting you all.

No matter where it is, keep going! I’ll support you with everything I have!

No matter where…?

…No, you’re right. If we’re going to do that, then we’ll need the support of people like you too. So, we’re counting on you.

Right! Of course! I’ll be going now!

……

(Your whole life…?)

(That’s ridiculous. I’m not someone worthy of carrying the weight of another person’s life.)

(Either I’m not worth someone devoting their whole life to, or that life they were so willing to devote to someone like me can’t have been worth very much to begin with. Those are the only possibilities.)

(Even though they don’t even know me…)

(They only see that idealized image. They project their dreams onto it, convince themselves that it’s saved them, and then disappoint themselves when it doesn’t.)

(I’m absolutely sick of it.)

(How much longer is this going to last…? This lightless path is so cold…)

(Oh… maybe this endless hell is my punishment for stealing something precious from my best friend.)

(Idols have taken so much from me.)

(And yet… today, as always, I’ll keep playing the role of the perfect idol…)

(Even though I’m nothing more than a stray dog forced to keep eating scraps from people I despise.)

(I’m sick of both myself… and the people that blindly accept someone like me.)

From now on, I’m sure…

…I’ll never be able to love idols.