Esu Idol Story 1

Now, let’s get this adventure started!!!!

Today’s adventure issss… (Drum rooooooll)~!

To close my eyes, pick a drink from the console, and drink whatever random concoction comes out!

The adventure is a go! Go! Go! Go!

Keep the adventure going! Glug glug glug glug~

Ugh! Adventure☆Failed…!!!!

…Hm. Well actually, maybe not. Sure, I did drink something that was so bad my tongue and stomach are killing me, buuuut that doesn’t mean it was totally a failure.

Something like this will definitely help me be more strapping and handsome!

How do you like that? Whaddya think, Onee-san?

Eh? You don’t know how to answer such a sudden question?

Riiiiiiight~! I think so too! I’ve been thinking that this whole time! I’ve been thinking that since the age of the dinosaurs actually! Hiyahahahaha!

Ah! Wait, please! Don’t back up like that?! Don’t look at me like I’m weird either, I’m sorry!

I drank something that tasted like chemicals so my brain was all in a twist!

Quit calling for security, please! I’ll really be in trouble then! Would a dogeza¹ work? Would it make you feel better if I begged you on my knees?! Craaaaaap!

But wait! I’m destined to be the man who will rule all mankind…! I never bow down to anyone–

Argh~! Fine, fine! I’m sorry! I begged on my knees! Happy now?!

Jeez! You’re so spoiled! Like a spoiled little princess!

Oh right, wasn’t there a show that went like that? Around five years ago²?

My creepy freeloader kept yapping with complaints like “oh the princess isn’t well portrayed” while watching the show all the time!

If you’re gonna keep griping about it so much, then why dontcha just stop watching! Don’t you think so? ‘Cuz that’s what I think! Actually, I was the first person in all of mankind to ever think so!!!!

Hm? Who am I, you’re asking? Come to think of it, we’ve never met before have we…?

I’m Sagiri Esu! I’m gonna be the man that climbs to the top of the idol industry…!

The higher the mountain, the better the climb! Isn’t that right, Onee-san?

Not really, you say…Well, that makes the score even then. 1 point for (Esu), 1 point opposed (Onee-san).

This is getting super excitinnnnnggg~! Hiyahahahaha!

Ah, I’ll stop! I don’t want to get in trouble! Please don’t call security!

I begged you not to do that earlier, didn’t I? Cut me some slack, will you?! Would money work? Do you need money?!

Eh, you think I’m super energetic? Well, that is my selling point!

When we’re talking about staying healthy, us Sagiri’s have been experts at that since my ol’ grandpappy was around. That was all thanks to the power of Sagiri Pharmaceuticals!

What’s Sagiri Pharmaceuticals? Where’d that come from? Onee-san, do you have any idea?

By the way, who’re you, Onee-san? Hm, Anzu-san the “Producer” huh…

Sorry, never heard of that name before!

After all, this is the first time we’ve met! I’ve got a special talent that lets me memorize the names and faces of everyone I’ve met on the first try!

Oh, and I’m also good at mountain climbing and setting up campsites. Barbeques too!

Speaking of the outdoors, Japan’s top player ☆ for the Camping Competition will be me, Sagiri Esu!

Eh, you think every single thing I’m saying is so exaggerated it’s funny?

Well it’s go big or go home, isn’t it! When you see something big like mountains, oceans, forests, or even the heavens, you’d get excited too, right?

Buuut, small things have their charms too, don’t they? I can’t say no to them, either! I never reject anything, ‘cuz I’m a man who aims for the sun then swallows everything up to grow!

Waaait, wouldn’t a black hole be more appropriate for that description than a sun? Don’t black holes have a bad association with them?

No, I’m being prejudiced! I, Sagiri Esu, have misjudged! Should I feel bad for every black hole in the universe now?!

Nope, don’t think so! End of story!!!!

…Hm? Do you have something you wanna say, Onee-san?

Right. Then I’ll be quiet. I won’t be able to hear you if I keep making a racket.

Not to worry, I’m a man pretty well known for being really quiet when I’m quiet!

………

Mhm. Mhm. Mhm mhm mhm mhm mhm!

Eh? I’m being noisy?! Wasn’t that what I was trying not to do? You sure don’t look pleased!

If I reflect, get down on my knees, and pay money, will you be happy then?!

Ohhhh, right right. Onee-san, you’re here to pick me up, aren’t you?

Is it because some big “producer” is calling me back for a chance for some “audition”?

Right, right! That’s the whole reason why I showed up at ES.

I was so caught up in trying to get away from Fuyume and the fact that I hadn’t gone on an adventure today that I completely forgot about that!

‘Kay. Then, let’s go. Wait, where exactly are we going?!

If you don’t tell me, then I’m just gonna end up spending each and every one of the days I have left in my life crossing out all the options!

The conference room? Roger! Thanks for going through the trouble to tell me!!!!

Ah, yelling so much made me thirsty.

Glug glug glug glug glug…

Hey, this drink is actually kinda tasty now that I’ve tried it again.

–Meaning, today’s adventure was a success!